The Hello Kitty Chronicles
by plasticheart
Summary: Hello Kitty like you've never seen her.


The Hello Kitty Chronicles  
  
Episode 1  
  
  
"Kitty, we have to go now! You know we'll get into so much trouble if we come into class late!" Goo-Goo yelled at Hello Kitty as she dipped the lit end of her cigarette in the dirty sink water.  
"I'm coming bitch! Lemme finish my smoke!" Hello replied.  
The cigarette hit the floor as it was tossed from Kitty's paw. Its tip smeared across the tiled floor leaving a streak of black ash behind. The force had deadened the flame and she was out the door.  
Clang, clang, clang..her boot tips slapped against the freshly waxed hall floor, her long fur flipped behind her sharp ears as she swung her head around. Her leather pants squeaked between her tight thighs and her open blouse blew in the wind. Her and her posse, Kitty Goo-Goo, Yoko, and Bang Bang owned the halls. They were the coolest kittens Brawson High had ever seen. The strutted down the halls on their way to class, knowing they were late, but still kept their cool. They suddenly split up in different directions, taking their separate ways to their separate classes.  
"Hello Kitty, thanks for joining us...." The teacher said to her as Kitty swung open the door and took her seat.  
"Yeah, sorry bout' that." Kitty smirked.  
  
Bang Bang ran to her class knowing her teacher would be upset with her. She was the good girl of the bunch. Unlike the others kittens she had goals and ambitions. She was to be a pharmacist and start her own pharmacy. She tried to be her best, but she still had that loose screw that couldn't hold her all together. She met Hello Kitty back in the 2nd grade.....  
  
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Hello Kitty sat angrily in her sand box listened to Heart play "Magic Man" on her Barbie Boomboxª. Then she overheard some scratching and screaming.  
"You took it you whore....!"  
"F#@* you bitch!"  
"I hate you...I hate you! Eat rat poison and die slut!"  
Kitty released the sand that was in her paws and ran over to see what all the fuss was about.  
"Stupid hooker! You took my bandana. I know you did! I just bought it yesterday, no one has it but me!" A baby kitten was screaming to a much more developed kitten.   
"No I didn't..I paw crafted this myself last night!" said the older kitten.  
"My bandana has 17 jewels attached to and a little castle-like crest printed on the center. You couldn't have possibly recreated that crest...its one of a kind." Disputed the young kitten.  
"Listen bitch...I saw this beautiful bandana in a catalogue and I just had to have it. So i xeroxed it at Kinko's and made the print myself."  
"Nice try you stupid go go dancer! Kinko's won't be out for another 10 years or so." Smiled the young kitty.  
The older kitten knew of her defeat, not willing to admit however. She took off running into the forest not knowing what to do. She was scared to be labeled a theft, she just wanted that bandana so bad. She was poor and couldn't afford such extravagant items. She ducted under fallen trees and leaped over branches. She dove over a creek bed barely escaping any kittens worst nightmare and started giving out of breath. She heard meows coming from behind so she began running again. She rounded squeezed through some trees and thought she was finally safe.  
Hello Kitty was on mission to rescue this kittens stolen bandana. She caught up with the runaway kitten and hid behind some trees. As she ran by Hello extended her long arm out and awoke her deadly claws from their nap. The claws malled the kittens face and completely threw her down. Hello Kitty jumped on to her chest and began ripping her whiskers out one by one and slicing her flesh with her razor sharp needles. The kitten was done. Kitty had completely destroyed her face and grabbed what she had came for.  
The young kitten was weeping by the swing set when Hello returned. Hello released the weathered cloth from her tight jawed grip and the girl instantly arouse.  
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" The kitten said.  
"No problem. I just don't like to see younger kittens messed with."  
"What's your name o brave one?...If you don't mind me asking."  
"The names Kitty, Hello Kitty."  
"Mine's Bang Bang, Kitty Bang Bang." The girl said with crystal-like eyes.  
  
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"Why are you late young lady?" asked the teacher.  
"I'm sorry...I..I..." Murmured Bang Bang.  
"Don't let it happen again! You hear me! Next time it's major DETENTION!" yelled the bitchy teacher.  
"Yes madam."  
  
Kitty Goo-Goo had arrived a few minutes late as well.  
"Goo-Goo...that makes the 3rd time this week..What's the problem young lady!" The teacher screamed so loud that the spit from the edges of her dentures spewed into the students faces.  
"I was surfing the crimson wave...give me a break."  
"What...what is "surfing the ..wave....." Asked the teacher.  
"Damn....if you must know...My vagina was dripping a bloody red substance and i had to switch my tampon so it wouldn't leek out onto white cotton panties."  
"Oh.....okay." The teacher blushed.  
  
The others had no trouble being late to class. And they all lived happily ever after.  
  
Stay tuned for episode two---coming next week (sept 24) 


End file.
